Anxiety. Free floating and debilitating anxiety about everything, but add to it the Holiday Season. A time to blow your budget so badly that you will suffer for months.
Last year instead of buying any presents Heather and I rented a minivan and fled to Mexico - with Joe, Zoe, Ian and Spencer. Remember that crazy storm that lasted two weeks, or maybe four? We escaped. It was one of the best things I've ever done for the holidays. It still broke my budget, which isn't hard, but it wasn't over in the flash/bang of ripping paper off hastily purchased objects. It was a week of sun and family and best friends.
I remember getting up at 4:00am in San Diego and driving through the storm to Tijuana. It was just days before Christmas and there was nobody at the border at that time. I mean we were the only car driving through. We had to wait for the workers to arrive to show them our permits and change money. The storm was raging, and apparently no one else was leaving the U.S. at that moment.
I was driving. People at home were worried we were going to be robbed or kidnapped in Baja. I wasn't worried. But there was the strange feeling as your are driving and no one else is on the road, navigating through TJ which is a very weird place, but maybe more so right then with the water rushing down the steep highway, dodging boulders uncleared by highway workers that understandably took the day off. The massive border fence, the overly cheerful signs to Buy Beachfront Property! Evidence everywhere of a collapsed economy.
You feel like you are driving through an abandoned dream. Unfinished construction projects and gigantic billboards as you approach Rosarito Beach. You start to feel like you are getting somewhere when you pass through Ensenada and there's commerce happening, then the highway turns inland and becomes two lane and gets bad. I mean ridiculously bad. There was a long section that was "under construction" and was just dirt and giant potholes, so you had to drive about 5 miles per hour.
The storm continued all day. We just kept driving and driving, past thousands of roadside shrines marking deaths of loved ones, little tiendas, tire stores and so many abandoned structures. Mostly there was nothing. The lush green landscape gave way to the desert. And there was still almost no one on the road.
In the late afternoon we drove out from under the storm. The pyramid shaped mountains and cacti and finally the gorgeous Sea of Cortez. 1000 miles and two full days of listening to the satellite radio chill station and we finally arrived in Pescadero at Carolen and Windspirit's beautiful place. We pitched our tents on their property just steps from the beach. Christmas eve were were lounging in the 75 degree sun, swimming in the Pacific, eating fresh organic food from Carolen's garden.
That night I wrote haikus for everyone and read them. Zoe sang a song she wrote on her ukulele called "Family." There were no other presents and it was more than fine.
This year I'm staying in California. I want everyone to feel okay not spending money we don't have on Christmas presents. My kids no longer expect anything for Christmas. They know all I want is to spend time with them. But staying here, two blocks from Union Square and the apparently thriving consumer economy will require incredible discipline not to get sucked in. Hunker down. Cook. Insulate with close friends to weather the irrational spending frenzy. Instead just have a little party at home.
Last year instead of buying any presents Heather and I rented a minivan and fled to Mexico - with Joe, Zoe, Ian and Spencer. Remember that crazy storm that lasted two weeks, or maybe four? We escaped. It was one of the best things I've ever done for the holidays. It still broke my budget, which isn't hard, but it wasn't over in the flash/bang of ripping paper off hastily purchased objects. It was a week of sun and family and best friends.
I remember getting up at 4:00am in San Diego and driving through the storm to Tijuana. It was just days before Christmas and there was nobody at the border at that time. I mean we were the only car driving through. We had to wait for the workers to arrive to show them our permits and change money. The storm was raging, and apparently no one else was leaving the U.S. at that moment.
I was driving. People at home were worried we were going to be robbed or kidnapped in Baja. I wasn't worried. But there was the strange feeling as your are driving and no one else is on the road, navigating through TJ which is a very weird place, but maybe more so right then with the water rushing down the steep highway, dodging boulders uncleared by highway workers that understandably took the day off. The massive border fence, the overly cheerful signs to Buy Beachfront Property! Evidence everywhere of a collapsed economy.
You feel like you are driving through an abandoned dream. Unfinished construction projects and gigantic billboards as you approach Rosarito Beach. You start to feel like you are getting somewhere when you pass through Ensenada and there's commerce happening, then the highway turns inland and becomes two lane and gets bad. I mean ridiculously bad. There was a long section that was "under construction" and was just dirt and giant potholes, so you had to drive about 5 miles per hour.
The storm continued all day. We just kept driving and driving, past thousands of roadside shrines marking deaths of loved ones, little tiendas, tire stores and so many abandoned structures. Mostly there was nothing. The lush green landscape gave way to the desert. And there was still almost no one on the road.
In the late afternoon we drove out from under the storm. The pyramid shaped mountains and cacti and finally the gorgeous Sea of Cortez. 1000 miles and two full days of listening to the satellite radio chill station and we finally arrived in Pescadero at Carolen and Windspirit's beautiful place. We pitched our tents on their property just steps from the beach. Christmas eve were were lounging in the 75 degree sun, swimming in the Pacific, eating fresh organic food from Carolen's garden.
That night I wrote haikus for everyone and read them. Zoe sang a song she wrote on her ukulele called "Family." There were no other presents and it was more than fine.
This year I'm staying in California. I want everyone to feel okay not spending money we don't have on Christmas presents. My kids no longer expect anything for Christmas. They know all I want is to spend time with them. But staying here, two blocks from Union Square and the apparently thriving consumer economy will require incredible discipline not to get sucked in. Hunker down. Cook. Insulate with close friends to weather the irrational spending frenzy. Instead just have a little party at home.
I love you.
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