Let's talk about sleeping with the same person. Another benefit of
marriage -IF you are the kind that likes to sleep with someone. I know
there are lots and lots of people who prefer to sleep alone. I
understand that.
Sleeping is for me more intimate than sex. To completely lose consciousness for a period of hours requires even more trust than getting naked with someone.
There are far fewer people on this earth whom I can actually sleep with than whom I can fuck.
I am the kind that sleeps in a full embrace all night. Except when I'm having hot flashes or pouting.
Preparing for sleep is like preparing for battle, I remember Rachel saying. To sleep, some of us need gear: the turbo eye mask with a roll bar to shut out all light, the ear plugs, and I hate to say it, the dreaded mouth guard (because you have mild TMJ). With all that going on, it narrows down whom you can sleep with even further. Let's just say it's not sexy. You are even more vulnerable because if you do achieve the holy grail of nonREM delta wave sleep, and say there's an emergency, you need someone you can trust to wake you up - but only if it's truly an emergency! You need to be with someone who knows the difference.
I remember, way back before I needed any gear, having a great time in bed with someone but once they were asleep realizing I cannot sleep with this person. For whatever reason. Maybe they sprawl hoggishly across the bed and have no awareness of you. Maybe their snore is obnoxiously loud. Maybe it's just a feeling that you like everything about them but as soon as they are unconscious you feel severely lonely and you don't want to wake them up. Maybe it's just the way they look. Maybe you realize when they fall asleep that it's someone else next to you, someone you don't really know and maybe don't want to know.
If you have sleep issues to begin with, or you develop insomnia, or you sleep so lightly, like me, that you can hear a fucking pin drop even with your earplugs in, sleep becomes a huge deal. Have you tried to work at a high pressure job without sleep for days? Or do anything for that matter. Or even just really bad sleep? I'm sure you have. It sucks ass. It sucks ass just to be alive if you haven't had good sleep.
In mate-selection, maybe finding someone whom you can actually sleep with is one of the factors that no one really talks about. I mean, if you are going to spend half of your life with someone you damn well better be able to get some sleep.
Sleeping is for me more intimate than sex. To completely lose consciousness for a period of hours requires even more trust than getting naked with someone.
There are far fewer people on this earth whom I can actually sleep with than whom I can fuck.
I am the kind that sleeps in a full embrace all night. Except when I'm having hot flashes or pouting.
Preparing for sleep is like preparing for battle, I remember Rachel saying. To sleep, some of us need gear: the turbo eye mask with a roll bar to shut out all light, the ear plugs, and I hate to say it, the dreaded mouth guard (because you have mild TMJ). With all that going on, it narrows down whom you can sleep with even further. Let's just say it's not sexy. You are even more vulnerable because if you do achieve the holy grail of nonREM delta wave sleep, and say there's an emergency, you need someone you can trust to wake you up - but only if it's truly an emergency! You need to be with someone who knows the difference.
I remember, way back before I needed any gear, having a great time in bed with someone but once they were asleep realizing I cannot sleep with this person. For whatever reason. Maybe they sprawl hoggishly across the bed and have no awareness of you. Maybe their snore is obnoxiously loud. Maybe it's just a feeling that you like everything about them but as soon as they are unconscious you feel severely lonely and you don't want to wake them up. Maybe it's just the way they look. Maybe you realize when they fall asleep that it's someone else next to you, someone you don't really know and maybe don't want to know.
If you have sleep issues to begin with, or you develop insomnia, or you sleep so lightly, like me, that you can hear a fucking pin drop even with your earplugs in, sleep becomes a huge deal. Have you tried to work at a high pressure job without sleep for days? Or do anything for that matter. Or even just really bad sleep? I'm sure you have. It sucks ass. It sucks ass just to be alive if you haven't had good sleep.
In mate-selection, maybe finding someone whom you can actually sleep with is one of the factors that no one really talks about. I mean, if you are going to spend half of your life with someone you damn well better be able to get some sleep.
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