Monday, December 19, 2011

Does weird mean god?

I feel like I haven't acknowledged you an a while, Unique Visitor. A clean 68.00% of you are also Returning Visitors. The vast majority of you are in San Francisco, which makes sense. But here's a shout out to Ballinger, TX, where someone is reading, in fact Ballinger and Portland, OR have the same number of site visits as of today. After Ballinger it's Providence, RI, then Seattle, Berkeley, Thousand Oaks, New York, Oakland, Paris, Bangkok, Los Angeles, Sankt Polten, Alameda, San Anselmo, Westlake Village. And so on.

Hi guys. I'm kind of into Google Analytics. Joe makes fun of me, but he's really into stats for his fantasy football team "The Panty Raiders" so I told him pipe down.

Most of you stay on the site just under four minutes, and read three an a half pages. There are a couple hundred of you. It's huge for me, and I want to say thank you for reading. It warms my heart. It's still so weird for me, but as Trishna commented, "maybe weird means god."

I'm kind of nervous this morning. About what? About "finishing the year well?" About "making enough money to keep my company afloat?" About "making enough money to keep my family afloat?" About "being a good parent so that my kids contribute significantly to society and to the evolutionary future of mankind?" Yeah. Probably all that. What else?

There is stuff I can't write about in this blog. Maybe you think you're getting all of it, but I assure you, there is more. Probably it's the really juicy stuff. I'm nervous that writing this blog is somehow making me feel like I'm writing, which I am, but it's distracting me from the novel I started.

Because now the novel seems like a piece of shit. Like I have to start all over. Like maybe there a few parts that are salvageable, but most of it will end up on a forgotten thumb drive in a dumpy landfill somewhere. Or on a computer that crashes and ends up in the same place. Maybe that's okay. Maybe I'm also nervous about digital media preservation.

Maybe there is another way to tell a story that people are just inventing now. And it's about using the internet and moving images and recorded sounds and letting people explore dumb tangents if they want to. I kind of like that idea.

But privacy is the issue I struggle with. Is there a new way to write a novel that still allows for the immediacy of a blogpost but let's your imagination fly freely? To take chances and explore really out there things without losing all your privacy? Or your job?

There are lots of writers these days who take chances and open up their lives to the public and somehow maintain a sense of integrity and privacy. I should talk to them.

Do you have any thoughts on this subject? Does weird mean god?






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