Or do you you not think so far ahead?
The ramp up to the holidays is like...you are on a freighter heading for the shore of the New Year and you cannot stop it. Even if the motors are all off, and we are 15 whole days away, we are uncontrollably speeding toward the rocky shore of January 1. So just sit back and let it happen, right? Wrong. There's the feeling that you need to take care of everything before the end of the year. Why? Because of taxes. Or simply, because it's the holiday season. Or, because people expect that from you. Or, it's just what I do every year.
It's hard to stay cheerful, amongst taking care of all the 2013 things you were supposed to do earlier, and now there are not 15 whole days, but really 5 or 6 "legitimate business days" left, and you feel inevitably cheated by time itself. Time is saying, "I won bitch." You have to accept that you really have only five days left, including today, because you have to accept that when December 23 falls on a Monday, you can't expect anyone to be "working," except those who have to. Let's not even talk about the thousands of Wallmart workers and homeless people who have to work every single day of the year. Solution: Don't shop. If you take that out, there's a lot more time left. Five days might even be enough time.
I broke my own vow and bought two, tiny hand-knit items, one for a teeny baby girl and another for a teenier, yet-to-be-born baby of unknown gender. I bought them from the knitter. I felt good that I wasn't paying for shipping or for any middle-men or store mark-up profits, I paid the real cost to the person who raised the alpaca, spun and died the wool, just kidding, I paid the person who knitted the sweater and hat, so it was pretty expensive. It seemed totally worth it. I'm imagining knitting tiny things with small needles taking a lot of skill and concentration, so I'd probably charge a lot, too. After buying those things, I said, "I'm done..." Though City Target has a way of luring me in for things I did not previously know I needed until I'm inside and it's too late.
What do you expect from the holidays? It's good to figure that out so you don't get pissed. A feeling of closeness to someone? Or closeness to a whole lot of people? It's unrealistic to say, I want a feeling of closeness to everyone. Though I take that back. I was experimenting recently standing on the corner of 7th and Market, kind of a bad corner, or let's say a corner where you can expect the unexpected, and I decided to see if my own facial expressions actually changed the way people looked to me. I softened my facial muscles, and put on a soft warm smile, and what I think of as doe eyes, (not deer in the headlight eyes), eyes that are innocent, that don't judge someone as psychopathic right off the bat. During this short experiment, I swear to god, even the psychopathic ranters looked better to me. And on that corner at all times there are a few insane people, who can be quite scary. I watched people pouring off the 9 San Bruno onto the bus stop island to share it with the (probably) insane, and I was amazed that all the faces seemed kinder and gentler than usual. There could be something here...
I just googled "micro facial expressions" and of course the #1 link is a best seller I could order right now and have on by bookshelf tomorrow called Emotions Revealed:
Renowned psychologist Paul Ekman explains the roots of our emotions--anger, fear, disgust, sadness, and happiness--and shows how they cascade across our faces, providing clear signals to those who can identify the clues.
What I'm trying to say, which I have no idea if Ekman says in his book, (even though I did read some paragraphs, including the book's conclusion that Amazon so kindly provided) is that you can actually affect your personal experience of life based on facial expressions you can consciously change (or at least can change in short bursts of consciousness when you remember and observe, and until and unless you are too old and all your expressions are carved too deeply to maneuver much). If I change my face to "kind and accepting," not only do people (weirdly) look better, they react to my nicer face. It can cause a change reaction. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to keep experimenting, but experience tells me, for example, when I'm a bitch in line, and have Bitch Face on, even if I don't say anything, I'm just being that bitch, things tend to go badly and spiral into worse.
I'm telling myself that it's worth a try to simply change my outgoing face. Especially during the holiday season, if say, one is buying gifts or not buying gifts, it might be a good experiment... anytime.
These are all reasons I think it's dangerous to get plastic surgery. When you botox your worry lines away, what happens when you want to express concern to your boyfriend or child about an accident or a bad thing that happened? Your smooth forehead says, "I don't understand why your bleeding elbow is a problem," or "Am I supposed to be sorry that you didn't get into that college you had your heart set on?" or "I'm so sorry you got fired." Your blank forehead says, well, nothing. Because the botox* is "temporarily paralyzing" your face. I just decided I'm firmly against botox. I know some of my best friends have done it, or do it-- because I guess it's like an addiction. You need to re-do it every three months or suddenly you look much older, or think you look older than before.
A cheaper answer: smile more. Soften your jaw and your eyes. The worst that could happen is your smile lines deepen. I think I'm going to try to remember that today: to notice my facial expressions, even when I'm sitting at the computer staring at the screen. Right now I'm trying it. This seems like an excellent and even marvelous place to stop.
*Botox is one of the many trade names for the neurotoxic protein called botulinum toxin that is produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum. In large doses, the protein causes botulism, a rare paralytic illness often linked to food poisoning.
The ramp up to the holidays is like...you are on a freighter heading for the shore of the New Year and you cannot stop it. Even if the motors are all off, and we are 15 whole days away, we are uncontrollably speeding toward the rocky shore of January 1. So just sit back and let it happen, right? Wrong. There's the feeling that you need to take care of everything before the end of the year. Why? Because of taxes. Or simply, because it's the holiday season. Or, because people expect that from you. Or, it's just what I do every year.
It's hard to stay cheerful, amongst taking care of all the 2013 things you were supposed to do earlier, and now there are not 15 whole days, but really 5 or 6 "legitimate business days" left, and you feel inevitably cheated by time itself. Time is saying, "I won bitch." You have to accept that you really have only five days left, including today, because you have to accept that when December 23 falls on a Monday, you can't expect anyone to be "working," except those who have to. Let's not even talk about the thousands of Wallmart workers and homeless people who have to work every single day of the year. Solution: Don't shop. If you take that out, there's a lot more time left. Five days might even be enough time.
I broke my own vow and bought two, tiny hand-knit items, one for a teeny baby girl and another for a teenier, yet-to-be-born baby of unknown gender. I bought them from the knitter. I felt good that I wasn't paying for shipping or for any middle-men or store mark-up profits, I paid the real cost to the person who raised the alpaca, spun and died the wool, just kidding, I paid the person who knitted the sweater and hat, so it was pretty expensive. It seemed totally worth it. I'm imagining knitting tiny things with small needles taking a lot of skill and concentration, so I'd probably charge a lot, too. After buying those things, I said, "I'm done..." Though City Target has a way of luring me in for things I did not previously know I needed until I'm inside and it's too late.
What do you expect from the holidays? It's good to figure that out so you don't get pissed. A feeling of closeness to someone? Or closeness to a whole lot of people? It's unrealistic to say, I want a feeling of closeness to everyone. Though I take that back. I was experimenting recently standing on the corner of 7th and Market, kind of a bad corner, or let's say a corner where you can expect the unexpected, and I decided to see if my own facial expressions actually changed the way people looked to me. I softened my facial muscles, and put on a soft warm smile, and what I think of as doe eyes, (not deer in the headlight eyes), eyes that are innocent, that don't judge someone as psychopathic right off the bat. During this short experiment, I swear to god, even the psychopathic ranters looked better to me. And on that corner at all times there are a few insane people, who can be quite scary. I watched people pouring off the 9 San Bruno onto the bus stop island to share it with the (probably) insane, and I was amazed that all the faces seemed kinder and gentler than usual. There could be something here...
I just googled "micro facial expressions" and of course the #1 link is a best seller I could order right now and have on by bookshelf tomorrow called Emotions Revealed:
Renowned psychologist Paul Ekman explains the roots of our emotions--anger, fear, disgust, sadness, and happiness--and shows how they cascade across our faces, providing clear signals to those who can identify the clues.
What I'm trying to say, which I have no idea if Ekman says in his book, (even though I did read some paragraphs, including the book's conclusion that Amazon so kindly provided) is that you can actually affect your personal experience of life based on facial expressions you can consciously change (or at least can change in short bursts of consciousness when you remember and observe, and until and unless you are too old and all your expressions are carved too deeply to maneuver much). If I change my face to "kind and accepting," not only do people (weirdly) look better, they react to my nicer face. It can cause a change reaction. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to keep experimenting, but experience tells me, for example, when I'm a bitch in line, and have Bitch Face on, even if I don't say anything, I'm just being that bitch, things tend to go badly and spiral into worse.
I'm telling myself that it's worth a try to simply change my outgoing face. Especially during the holiday season, if say, one is buying gifts or not buying gifts, it might be a good experiment... anytime.
These are all reasons I think it's dangerous to get plastic surgery. When you botox your worry lines away, what happens when you want to express concern to your boyfriend or child about an accident or a bad thing that happened? Your smooth forehead says, "I don't understand why your bleeding elbow is a problem," or "Am I supposed to be sorry that you didn't get into that college you had your heart set on?" or "I'm so sorry you got fired." Your blank forehead says, well, nothing. Because the botox* is "temporarily paralyzing" your face. I just decided I'm firmly against botox. I know some of my best friends have done it, or do it-- because I guess it's like an addiction. You need to re-do it every three months or suddenly you look much older, or think you look older than before.
A cheaper answer: smile more. Soften your jaw and your eyes. The worst that could happen is your smile lines deepen. I think I'm going to try to remember that today: to notice my facial expressions, even when I'm sitting at the computer staring at the screen. Right now I'm trying it. This seems like an excellent and even marvelous place to stop.
*Botox is one of the many trade names for the neurotoxic protein called botulinum toxin that is produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum. In large doses, the protein causes botulism, a rare paralytic illness often linked to food poisoning.
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