Random quote from Sex at Dawn, in a chapter called A Closer Look at the Standard Narrative, subhead Male Parental Investment (MPI):
Underlying each of these theories, as well as evolutionary theory in general, is the notion that life can be conceptualized in terms of economics and game theory. The objective of the game is to send your genetic code into the future by producing the maximum possible number of offspring who survive and reproduce. Whether or not this dispersal leads to happiness is irrelevant. In the best-selling survey of EP (evolutionary psychology), The Moral Animal, Robert Wright puts it succinctly, saying, "We are built to be effective animals, not happy ones. (Of course, goals--sex, status, and so on--often bring happiness, at least for a while.) Still, the frequent absence of happiness is what keeps us pursuing it, and thus makes us productive."
Happiness...Tough to define. A feeling of contentment and purposefulness, of flow, of being seen and being heard by those who surround you. Feeling relevant. Of accomplishing your goal of surviving each day. Having a warm place to sleep. Being able to sleep. Knowing your kids are okay, that you didn't fuck them up too much. That chances are that they will survive, and yeah, I suppose, reproduce.
There is something deeply satisfying in imagining that they might want to reproduce. But it's not essential (for me, at least at this point) that someone special might want to reproduce with them. Sure, if they want to, that's fine. But is my happiness contingent on my kids giving the world another (hopefully better) replica that will have a fresh look at the world's problems and maybe try to help fix them in some tiny way? I don't know if it's essential for my happiness or feeling of success in life. Is that the privilege of someone who has three chances? Maybe it's the payoff for years of sacrifice.
Happiness...Some say it's not the point. Now that my genetic purpose is fulfilled having raised three offspring, is this all early 21st Century angst about finding a new purpose? Am I biologically irrelevant? In short, yes. Is my purpose now just to gather and store food for the future young of my children and the other children in the village so that they will not abandon me? Or to gather and store food for my solitary future when everyone I know has either died or moved on and forgotten about me?
I seek something more. A new kind of relevance. Is this urge to write a quest for relevance, one that acknowledges imminent death and is battling with mortality?
Underlying each of these theories, as well as evolutionary theory in general, is the notion that life can be conceptualized in terms of economics and game theory. The objective of the game is to send your genetic code into the future by producing the maximum possible number of offspring who survive and reproduce. Whether or not this dispersal leads to happiness is irrelevant. In the best-selling survey of EP (evolutionary psychology), The Moral Animal, Robert Wright puts it succinctly, saying, "We are built to be effective animals, not happy ones. (Of course, goals--sex, status, and so on--often bring happiness, at least for a while.) Still, the frequent absence of happiness is what keeps us pursuing it, and thus makes us productive."
Happiness...Tough to define. A feeling of contentment and purposefulness, of flow, of being seen and being heard by those who surround you. Feeling relevant. Of accomplishing your goal of surviving each day. Having a warm place to sleep. Being able to sleep. Knowing your kids are okay, that you didn't fuck them up too much. That chances are that they will survive, and yeah, I suppose, reproduce.
There is something deeply satisfying in imagining that they might want to reproduce. But it's not essential (for me, at least at this point) that someone special might want to reproduce with them. Sure, if they want to, that's fine. But is my happiness contingent on my kids giving the world another (hopefully better) replica that will have a fresh look at the world's problems and maybe try to help fix them in some tiny way? I don't know if it's essential for my happiness or feeling of success in life. Is that the privilege of someone who has three chances? Maybe it's the payoff for years of sacrifice.
Happiness...Some say it's not the point. Now that my genetic purpose is fulfilled having raised three offspring, is this all early 21st Century angst about finding a new purpose? Am I biologically irrelevant? In short, yes. Is my purpose now just to gather and store food for the future young of my children and the other children in the village so that they will not abandon me? Or to gather and store food for my solitary future when everyone I know has either died or moved on and forgotten about me?
I seek something more. A new kind of relevance. Is this urge to write a quest for relevance, one that acknowledges imminent death and is battling with mortality?
Very interesting! In regards to your last paragraph, I agree your urge to write might be, probably is, a quest for relevance. I'm feeling that same urge, because after all, our children are THEM, probably extensions of ourselves, and all that biological stuff, but our writing is US, and as we get older, we(I) feel the urgency to pass on the truth of who I feel I really am.LOVE Jessica
ReplyDeleteYes! Maybe you are saying the urge to reveal your true self to your kids is the urge to be relevant. Because we no longer need to take care of or protect them in the same way. That before we disappear we want to relate to them as adults. That it is now our job with them...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessica.
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