I'm reconsidering privacy. The pleasure and sometimes shock of knowing
there is an audience of readers both known and unknown in a world with
no boundaries gives me serious pause.
I live in one big room with Joe. Almost everything in my "private life" takes place in this room.
My kids walk in and out. We've trained them to knock. Their friends walk in and out. They knock, too. I love it. I'm used to it. I like lots of people around. I grew up in a big family and any privacy I carved out was hard-won. I remember going into the backyard at night when I was desperate to be alone and sitting in the dog pen along the side of the house away from all windows and smoking a cigarette. Just me and that lonely dog Laura, whom my Dad wouldn't let into the house. I think I started doing that when I was 11 years old... a soft pack of Winston's that I stole from my aunt Joanne that lasted a couple of years. I didn't need to be alone very often.
When I started this blog, I made a conscious decision to use my actual name. It took a couple of years to make that decision. It was a breakthrough to overcome my fears of exposure and rejection. Most of the readers of this blog do not make themselves known to me, but many come out of the woodwork to comment to me in person. Which is wonderful. But there are hundreds of others of you who return to see what's up, and as many who come for the first time each month. It's just a strange thing, this knowing and not knowing your audience.
I have found that the scope of subjects I'm willing to explore here has narrowed considerably. It's choking me.
Where once I didn't give a shit and felt the torrential flood of freedom when confronting the blank page, now numerous boundaries arise that I simply cannot cross. At this time. Sucks.
This requires of me the use of filters and circumlocution. But mostly results in silence. Forgive me. I'm working through it. I'm considering changing the privacy options...by asking people to request permission to subscribe. It' not that I need to know everyone who is following, but I need to know that a few people are not.
I'd like to ask, how would you feel about this? You can answer me anonymously, or with your name. Or by emailing me directly to engage in a conversation about it: kimbender7@gmail.com
Or by calling me. I'd really like some feedback before I make the decision.
Thanks.
I live in one big room with Joe. Almost everything in my "private life" takes place in this room.
My kids walk in and out. We've trained them to knock. Their friends walk in and out. They knock, too. I love it. I'm used to it. I like lots of people around. I grew up in a big family and any privacy I carved out was hard-won. I remember going into the backyard at night when I was desperate to be alone and sitting in the dog pen along the side of the house away from all windows and smoking a cigarette. Just me and that lonely dog Laura, whom my Dad wouldn't let into the house. I think I started doing that when I was 11 years old... a soft pack of Winston's that I stole from my aunt Joanne that lasted a couple of years. I didn't need to be alone very often.
When I started this blog, I made a conscious decision to use my actual name. It took a couple of years to make that decision. It was a breakthrough to overcome my fears of exposure and rejection. Most of the readers of this blog do not make themselves known to me, but many come out of the woodwork to comment to me in person. Which is wonderful. But there are hundreds of others of you who return to see what's up, and as many who come for the first time each month. It's just a strange thing, this knowing and not knowing your audience.
I have found that the scope of subjects I'm willing to explore here has narrowed considerably. It's choking me.
Where once I didn't give a shit and felt the torrential flood of freedom when confronting the blank page, now numerous boundaries arise that I simply cannot cross. At this time. Sucks.
This requires of me the use of filters and circumlocution. But mostly results in silence. Forgive me. I'm working through it. I'm considering changing the privacy options...by asking people to request permission to subscribe. It' not that I need to know everyone who is following, but I need to know that a few people are not.
I'd like to ask, how would you feel about this? You can answer me anonymously, or with your name. Or by emailing me directly to engage in a conversation about it: kimbender7@gmail.com
Or by calling me. I'd really like some feedback before I make the decision.
Thanks.
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