What happens when your head is clear? When you meditate every morning and do yoga before drinking cleansing noncaffienated tea before starting your insane day?
So far, it makes everything a little less insane. Day 11.
Note: Ian set out on his journey a week ago. He is learning about Life. He was refused entry at the Canadian border. Apparently having a DUI on your DMV record now makes you a threat to national security. Maybe that and the fact that he only had $20 in his pocket and was on foot and wearing a backpack. Do they check people's facebook pages at the border now before they decide to let you in? I wouldn't be surprised. If yes, they would not necessarily have found Ian, who's facebook name is End Capitalism.
Maybe the Canadians are mad at the U.S. for being such dicks about Canadians crossing the border in the other direction. I would be. We are dicks to everyone. Why shouldn't they be dicks back to us?
So Ian is getting a real taste of "hitting the wall."
And I am getting a taste of "there is nothing you can do about it."
He seems to be taking it in stride. He's walking and hitchhiking and sleeping in parks and at friends houses. Who knows where he will go. Into the wild...but hopefully not all the way in. Shedding things along the way that no longer seem necessary to him. He is yearning for nature and authenticity. I hope he finds what he is looking for. Or at least what he needs.
I am shedding, too. And dealing with the new stuff that comes up. Stuff that's not necessarily new but that I haven't been able to deal with for years because I've been dealing with crisis after crisis. You know what I'm talking about. The really hard stuff. The murmur underlying your well-being that you've been ignoring so long that you pretended there is nothing that can be done about it. The murmur you never talk about, because it's just too big or overwhelming so you just try to forget about it.
But it's there.
That kind of stuff.
What I'm finding out, now that my head is a little clearer, is that by looking at those things head on and putting them on the table, they just are not that bad.
Break it down. Talk about it. Share your fears about it with someone else. Come up with a plan.
Things take time. But you can do it. Take the time. Don't be afraid.
This is what I tell myself.
This is how I'm going to finish a piece of writing this year.
So far, it makes everything a little less insane. Day 11.
Note: Ian set out on his journey a week ago. He is learning about Life. He was refused entry at the Canadian border. Apparently having a DUI on your DMV record now makes you a threat to national security. Maybe that and the fact that he only had $20 in his pocket and was on foot and wearing a backpack. Do they check people's facebook pages at the border now before they decide to let you in? I wouldn't be surprised. If yes, they would not necessarily have found Ian, who's facebook name is End Capitalism.
Maybe the Canadians are mad at the U.S. for being such dicks about Canadians crossing the border in the other direction. I would be. We are dicks to everyone. Why shouldn't they be dicks back to us?
So Ian is getting a real taste of "hitting the wall."
And I am getting a taste of "there is nothing you can do about it."
He seems to be taking it in stride. He's walking and hitchhiking and sleeping in parks and at friends houses. Who knows where he will go. Into the wild...but hopefully not all the way in. Shedding things along the way that no longer seem necessary to him. He is yearning for nature and authenticity. I hope he finds what he is looking for. Or at least what he needs.
I am shedding, too. And dealing with the new stuff that comes up. Stuff that's not necessarily new but that I haven't been able to deal with for years because I've been dealing with crisis after crisis. You know what I'm talking about. The really hard stuff. The murmur underlying your well-being that you've been ignoring so long that you pretended there is nothing that can be done about it. The murmur you never talk about, because it's just too big or overwhelming so you just try to forget about it.
But it's there.
That kind of stuff.
What I'm finding out, now that my head is a little clearer, is that by looking at those things head on and putting them on the table, they just are not that bad.
Break it down. Talk about it. Share your fears about it with someone else. Come up with a plan.
Things take time. But you can do it. Take the time. Don't be afraid.
This is what I tell myself.
This is how I'm going to finish a piece of writing this year.
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