10 things I want from Burning Man

Now that we are mostly done with material preparation, it's about psychic and emotional preparation, and setting my intention. What do I want out of this trip/vacation/journey?

Many things.

1) Complete removal from the grid and thoughts of work for at least seven days.
2) Simplicity.
3) Outdoor hot yoga.
4) Large scale participatory art experiences that blow my mind and inspire renewed faith in humanity.
5) Radical self-expression - in whatever form that takes. Even if that means a three hour nap and sitting naked in the sun/shade alone all day. Or in hammock in a great camp that I discover. Sipping cocktails.
6) Family time with all three of my grown children - separate time with each, and some all together. Maybe Joe and I will find them at dawn when they are DJing together on an art car after the Unicorn stampede. Maybe sitting on a tarp together, after everything is burned to the ground, when our camps our nearly packed, eating whatever food is left over and sharing stories.
7) Alter ego bonding with Joe in his leather gear.
8) Finding a new alter ego or two.
9) Bonding with old friends and new people I have not yet met.
10) Clarity on the direction of my life for the next 10-20 years.

Maybe some of these things will happen. I will stay open to collective imagination. That is my commitment.

 Zoe and friends on their way into the Nowhere Festival in Spain 7/12.

Zoe, Ian and Jordan  in Berlin 7/12

 

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Burning Man livecast.

Seven Days Until the Man Burns

Burning Man!!!

Game on. Today is is where the rubber meets the road in terms of final budget decisions: More food and alcohol or that pink wig I've been eyeing at that unYelped store on Market Street. You know what I want. I want to feel skinny and have long pink hair.

Camp gear, sexy big girl underwear, Joe's Leather, Etc. hat and shorts (wooohooo), our almost matching combat boots, fishnets, real chinchilla wrap and fake fur coats. It's all here, ready to be plunged into ziplock bags and buried in dustproofing bins for transport.

Joseph set off this morning, his truck fully loaded. Zoe and Ian leave whenever their camp is battened down for the road. Zoe: "Sometime between 9:00 am and 2:00pm, which means around 5:00pm."

Toes painted, bikinis waxed, abs crunched. Heads shrunken.

All this preparation and yet there is no way to fully prepare. You can say whatever you want...That last year was the last good year. Or 1996 was the peak year. Or, there's no way it can work with 60,000 people.

You are wrong.

It works.

Can you imagine feeling both the most intense connection to the universe and excruciating solitude at the same time? Extreme immediacy.

You probably can. I recall that feeling in childbirth: Everyone's helping, holding, touching, pushing, cradling you, but you are absolutely alone in your task.

Sometimes you can get there on really good drugs, but there are no guarantees.

The Black Rock Desert itself is a magical setting, and the collaborative imagination that creates the city for just one week promotes an environmental mindset that increases the chances for radical personal transformation.

No guarantees.

But if one steps onto the Playa with an open spirit, and lets go of all expectations, and, may I add, the right wig, anything can happen.

17 Days Until the Man Burns

Success at Goodwill inspired a many-hours long fashion show last night, with Joe the only audience... Except some wide-eyed young floor mates who caught glimpses when I headed to the bathroom mirror. They think of me, probably, as the grumpy, unwelcome mom figure wearing an eyemask on my forehead who tells them to move their loud 3:00 am conversations somewhere besides the common kitchen outside our door. They probably had no idea that underneath the eyemask and earplugs and bedhead, beyond the floor meeting manager who reminds them to pay their utilities and clean up their shit in the hallway, there is a purring Playa kitten about to get her freak on.

Will their knowing my other side increase my authority?

Getting your freak just right takes time. I'm almost there: one sewing session with Arianne and I'll be Playa ready.

At least in that department. I feel REI and Target runs coming on. Decisions: Which things require quality and workmanship and which things don't? I will suppress my guilt about shopping at Target and feeding the monster. I've seriously cut back, shopping there only a couple of times per year. I draw the line at Wal-mart - though I guess they are equally dispicable in terms of places to work.  See Target vs. Wal-Mart smackdown article.

Other concerns: Are those 20-somethings really flirting with me? Is that wrong?

Marriage: I've been to a few weddings lately, and officiated at one. Such happy occasions. Advice to anyone about to take the plunge: pay attention to exactly what you are promising. No need to overstate anything. Just say it exactly as it really is. That alone is big, with all those people listening.

What you want changes. Keep that in mind. Say the right words, the ones you can live with for a long time. If they don't quite fit, find other words, or leave that part off.

Zoe and T on the Playa last year. This is what inspires me.

18 Days Until the Man Burns

There's a warm reality simmering up through my Lorazepam-sleep head that reminds me that the default world is about to be left in a dusty haze for a week in the desert. My preparation has begun in earnest with an investment in solid but sexy undergarments, aka "the basics." They must serve and preserve me, smooth and tighten, endure extreme heat and cold, and attract my soon to meet new best friends on the dance floor and at the trash fence.

My strategy this year boosted greatly by the Gaultier show at the de Young - which closes on August 19th, so get your ass down there if you haven't been. I would be so much farther along in my preparation had I listened to my friends and gotten there sooner...

My persona will incorporate cheap imitation Gaultier-inspired re-use of thriftstore materials decorated sparingly with ephemera that speak of something future and something past. Some things will be revealed through diaphanous fabric, some will be guarded under layers of skin-toned or black satin and elastic, hooks and eyes, sturdy zippers.

I will forget about the default world and enter into new kinds of negotiations, ones which I cannot yet imagine...

Pre-Burn Do List

The man burns in 23 days. I am not ready.

But Ian and Zoe are back from Europe (yeah!!) and Joseph has his ticket now, too, so it's going to be a family burn. That was my wish. We will all be in different places: Joe and I will be in the walk-in camping with our own, minimal, efficient scene. That way we can visit our our kids and all our friends in their glorious, exravagant camps, but return to our own chill spot to absorb it all, and sleep when we want. Hopefully.

The Bender kids will all be in different camps. Last year Ian would ride out to our remote spot and eat some salad, get fully hydrated and/or take a nap with us, maybe borrow something for his evening costume, then ride back out to be with his people.

Whatever happens, we will all be transformed by the experience. It's Joseph's first year, so he is in for a real treat.

Things that need doing: thrift shopping, sewing, shopping online for elwire. Packing for 8 days in the desert. Finding the inner persona that needs radical self-expression while practicing radical self-reliance. Figuring out my gifts. Getting the gear in perfect order. No bigs.

Just a bit of a time management challenge...managing things in the default world. Like work and stuff.

Bringing the Ten Principles into my life. That's big.

Outside Lands this weekend: Joe and Joseph are helping artist Mike Shine build a giant set then performing in a crazy carnie art piece, Flotsam's Wonder World. It's dark and beautiful and weird. I also hope to see some bands. Lots of bands. I am not too old to appreciate a good line-up.

I went some months without therapy. I thought I graduated. Now I'm in post-graduate therapy with both my therapists, who now talk to each other on occasion. It makes me feel better. Tonight an extra long session. Why? Because I have an extra complicated life, I guess. It takes more than 50 minutes and more than one person to keep me sane.

What do I want out of Burning Man this year? I can take some lessons from the masters in setting my intention...set and setting...